want real drama? dont. it doesnt really gives you good feeling. however you do get stronger and wiser on each drama you seen or experienced in your life.

Assalamualaikum...

how should i say this? hmmm...

well its a drama, reality drama. oh i think i'm going to be sick with these dramas around me. and how will i judge this? well, my mom and i definitely not on the same page.

of course, we judge things based on the experiences we had. so my point of view is based on my story, while my mom based on hers. dad on the other hand tried to get mom out of her thought.

i totally understand both of them. you see, i've seen and experienced something i would call a nightmare to a child. and it wasnt just about being scared, its more than that and it becomes a mark that stays. but hey, i think i can live with that. i have my own fault, so its not fair to just put the blame on others. so yes, it helps me to understand why mom and dad acted the way they were.

i guess it really depends on how you would take the situation. if bad is all you can think, than it wont be better. even if it is bad, then we should work it to be good. what happen today? just another drama to add up to the collection. well, its not so bad anyway.

at first i thought its a reminder. but when i know more about it, i think its not that kind of reminder i thought it would be. remembering each of the moment really makes me sad, and regardless of what i say right now or in the future its rather sad and scare than angry. ironic eh?

i say if you are honest in what you are doing, time will prove everything. it'll be better. it always, insyaAllah. :)

p/s: oh yes, i am scare. afraid. terrified.

i'm certain and i know what i want. maybe its not working out, so im not going to force it. God knows the best. like my dear friend said, lets fate works its magic.

Assalamualaikum...

what is worse than this? i guess what far worse than now in the future. ask me, i've seen enough.

just enough to really put a stop on the best thing i ever have, i'll do it now, i'll do it in the future. a perspective i've been developed since i was a kid. and yes, good things dont come easily, it need sacrifices.

i fall hard, and i realize i could never forget it. i've seen the bad side of it, so i wont take a risk of having the same thing happens again. at least not in my power. i'm not asking to start over, forget what happened, i'm just searching for some answers. i told you once, i'll tell you again. i wont ask you to start, a million times even if i'm dying. its not my right.

God's plan is the best. no kidding. and it's just as beautiful as the sweet memories are. i'll always believe that. i'm hanging on hard to it. i know there's always something for me in the end, and i'll be stronger to face the world.

and you mister, say what ever you want. but i'm sorry, my heart is not yours to decide.